I am starting this blog as almost a new start for my life. I am going through a nasty divorce or at least it is that way from were i stand. I was living a good life or so i thought, in St. Kitts West Indies. My wife is an executive for a large hotel chain, and me a stay at home dad. I became a stay at home dad while living in Connecticut and was suffering from degenerative disc disease and the lovely weather in the north east. I was almost unable to function and was on a tn of pain meds, After three years of begging to leave the area my wife got a job in the West Indies.
Now I have been my sons caregiver since he was born since my wife is a career girl and always working and doing some kind of class. She got her masters while working full time and having our son in two years with straight A's. So i was always there to pick up the slack as she was very busy. Things we do to make our lives better, and to support your spouse.
While moving to the West Indies i found that my need for pain pills and the need for Norotin was obsolete. It took me 4 months to ween myself off of the drugs. As time went on i did find that the progression of my back disease was continuing. However i did what i needed to do as a father for my son, lunch,taking him back and fourth to school as well as sit and do homework. I would also make him dinner and get him to bed most of the time.
Now I am not saying she was or is a bad mother, she just was not there much for our family.
I guess i liked the way lemons smell and did not realize i was sitting on a truckload. Love really is blind.
So while living in the West Indies i had fun. I went diving hundreds of times. Made some wonderful friends
Like Sam and Mike and Michelle, as well as lots of other great people i hung out with. But even good friends can't fix that damn truckload of lemons at home.
My wife was working tons of hours as usual, but i noticed that she also was not paying much attention to me or for the fact my son. And as time went on and we fought for really stupid reasons. But for the most part the biggest problem was her job. She was hiding there to stay away from me as a refuge. I also noticed that the intimacy was gone. No more hugs or hand holding or even a hey i love you. She was even not saying i love you back when i would call her on the phone. Some excuse that she hated when family would call anybody at work. So i stopped unless it was really important.
All this ended with me becoming very depressed and the lack of love from her also killed my self confidence as a man. It pushed me to the point of self destruct or domestic problems.
After almost three years and several make up times i finally could not take the yo yo of the way i was being treated and being blamed for everything. I booked a ticket to go back to Colorado were my mother and one of my sisters live and i grew up for a portion of my life.
I had left my son in the West Indies as he had one month left of school and we had already made plans for him to go to Colorado to see my mother and sister. He had not seen my mother for almost 4 years, since he is 8 that's way to long.
So a month after i left i flew to Miami to pick up my son. While there i was able to speak with my wife since she had pretty much ignored me after i was gone. We spoke the next morning and i was informed that she had grown apart from us as well was not attracted to me because i was not a confident man anymore. Hmmm go figure.
She was almost was not going to let me take my son with me as she thought i would get my Canadian passport and vanish with him. ( I was born in Canada but carry a US passport.)
As we were leaving her at the airport she gave me $400 for my son to help with expenses for the 4 weeks he was to be in Colorado. It was a bit of an argument because i had to ask for it and she had forgotten that she was reimbursed for mu $1200 ticket that i paid for from her employer. She had also promised me that she would deposit the funds so i would have them if i needed it.
The second day my son was in Colorado he mentioned to some people we were camping with that he wished to stay in Colorado with me and not return to the West Indies. He also said this to me several times as the week went on. He also mentioned this to my wife by telephone. She subsequently went ballistic and lost her mind on the phone with me.Explaining to me he was only eight and could not know his own mind. I asked if he could stay a bit longer as my wife had made it quite clear i was not welcome to come back to the island. Normally this would not deter me but she has control over my residence visa as her employer pays the large price for it.
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